Another One Bites the Dust

I am thinking about a new career - a church killer.

I am sure that there would be some demented people who would pay for services like that. I don't work quickly but I do work. My biggest problem is that although I have that job, I hate it. Here is my resume:

Church number one was an old church in Cleveland. With the flight of most families to the suburbs the decline began. I stayed there as it was the only church I ever knew til almost the bitter end. If it were just me, I would have stayed, but I had kids to think about so I moved on.

The next church I will call church one and a half. It was the church I attended while I was in college. I was still a member of church number one but I did attend just about every Sunday I was in college for 4 years. That church was fortunate as I wasn't there long enough to completely kill it. But it did have a very nasty split that may have finished the job since I have gone.

Church number two was the one I joined 10 years ago and closed just a year ago starting me on this odyssey. I believe that church will be my church home in my heart for the rest of my life. So much happened there that even though I only spent 9 years there they were the most intense and spiritually growing years in my life. To this day when someone says "church" that is the one of which I think.

There is a church 2 and a half too. I never "officially" attended there but my kids do participate in the Awana program there. I guess that is close enough for my kiss of death - or almost. About 6 years ago that church split as well. (I am not even going to start in with how many different Awana Commanders I have seen come and go.) The church is still going but it is no way the same church it was before the split.

For the past year we have been searching for a new church and for all the details you can read this blog. One thing that had helped us in this search is that we had was some stability was that although any given Sunday morning was a toss up we were able to attend a Saturday night service. This church was small and struggling. Because of that we know that it was not where we could stay. They were just missing some of the things we were looking for namely a place for our teens. It may not have been perfect but it was at least something like home. Until my ability strikes again.

They are closing the Saturday night service. I feel it so deeply that I am almost numb. I want a church home any family to but that is the problem - I have no where to go. I know that this is just another attack of my enemy but I don't' mind saying that it hurts and I am tired of it.

So I am off and looking again. I am tired of the search, but I am truly afraid that if I do find another church that I will have to keep doing this again and again. However the Lord is too important to really believe that I cause these problems. I know that there is somewhere he wants all of us and we will keep looking til we find it.

Called by name

I remember the first time it happened. It was a Sunday morning. I was in my devotional time with the Lord. He spoke to me and called me by name. There was no other experience like it - the Creator of everything knows my name. It was humbling and exhilarating at the same time.

It was wonderful when the Lord did it. It is wonderful when my friends or family does it. But I don't think that it should be done from the pulpit during a sermon.

We visited a church. There were quite a few things we liked about it. There were a few things that we weren't quite comfortable with but nothing that was too objectionable - until about half way through the sermon. It was at that point that the minister actually called by name one of his congregants whom he has obviously counseled.

" Look and Mary (Not her real name - I don't even remember what it was) and all the problems that she has", he said.

I couldn't believe it. I have been to different ministers for issues. If any of them had even mentioned me I would have wanted to sink into the floor. But then I thought that maybe there had been some sort of arrangement - even though "Mary" didn't look like it. I was almost ready to say that I was being too sensitive.

Then he said, "Look at John (once again not his real name). Can you believe the sins he has committed?"

Twice in one service he called out specific people and basically aired their dirty laundry. I felt so shocked I didn't know what to do. But one thing I do know, I am never going to give them a chance to call my name out as a poor example of Christian living. I can assure anyone who asks that I will never be stepping into that church again.

old home week

Tonight I went out with a group of ladies from my old church. One has moved to Iowa a number of years ago and was back in town visiting friends. The women's group from church decided to meet with her. It was nice to catch up. And the really great part was that Baker's Square was having free pie tonight so it was cheap too.

I thought it was appropriate that I had made this layout earlier today. The sanctuary was always so pretty, especially at Easter. The pictures were taken 5 years ago - long before we knew the future of the church.

Just as getting together with the ladies of the church was bittersweet so was the memories of my church home. The journalling under the picture says, "Lent is a time of reflection and preparedness for the coming Easter Season. This year Jim preached on preparing our hearts by dealing with some of the sin which was in fact the cause for the necessity of Christ’s death and resurrection.Each week during Lent the cross was used during the service to do just that. Confessions were nailed to it. Fears and failings were lovingly but seriously confronted. It was intense, but also the most moving Lent season ever experienced."

This and many of my other most recent layouts can be found here: http://www.cookinupcreations.com/coppermine/index.php

Still Scrapping

Yes, even though I have not posted everything here, I am still a scrapping fool this month. I am involved in a cybercrop at Cooking up Scrapbooking Creations http://www.cookinupcreations.com/phpBB3/

This was a layout made for a scrap lift challenge.

Looking for food in the kitchen of someone who dosen't cook

I have been in that kitchen. Yes, there is food. No, I won't starve. BUT there is nothing to make a meal with. There are just random items, a jar of peanut butter, some cheese, a quart of orange juice and some garlic salt.

That is what looking for a church has been like. I am searching for spiritual food and all I get is a snack. There is nothing wrong with snacks, but it is not the meat that I crave either. There is no consistency when the menu changes every week. I get just enough to almost last me through the week but I am never really satisfied.

Every week is about the same. I look hopefully to Sunday. Will this be the church? Will this be the one where everyone will be content and fed? And so far, the answer is no.

The church we attended today was an example. It was just what I was hoping for - at least on paper. They had Christian education for everyone. The music was pleasant. The people were friendly and the sermon was Biblically based. It has all of that but it was only half alive. There was no meat there. Once again another Sunday morning and rather than being fed a meal which I could chew on most of the week I left only having had a snack that barely will hold me through the day.

Here is hoping that the menu will be more satisfying next week.

Church Should NOT Hurt

Our "official" church search began again today. It has been a year since our church closed and although we have found a church that was "nice" we were hoping for something more so we are officially looking again.

The day started out nicely enough. The people were friendly enough. It is a small church, but we don't mind that. In fact, I would prefer a small healthy church to a large one. The kids all loved Sunday School. Timothy even liked it - he actually said "like" not just ok.

Unfortunatly that was about where the positive experience ended. The Sunday School Tom and I attended can be summed up best by Tom's description - it was like a trip to the dentist. Getting any one to say anything was like pulling teeth. But at least there was novicane. It was uncomfortable but it didn't hurt.

The same can not be said for the church service. That was like going to the dentist without any novicane. The sancturary was more the size of a chapel. It was approximatly 20 feet by 40 feet. I don't mind a small space in fact for the number of people there it fit. The problem lies with the sound system.

Going to church should not hurt. I don't mean that it is always comfortable. There have been times when I have been convicted of my sin and that is not comfotable. I have heard sermons that I swear were aimed directly at me. Once again I feel ill at ease, but I do not phiscally hurt. That was not the experience today.

The sound system which could have easily served a room 3 to 4 times bigger than the one it was in was cranked up to high. And the worst part is that there was no balance. I think that everything was just turned on to the max. The worst was the drum set. It wasn't just a snare and a bass but a full set. I really think that just about any rock band would have loved to have. It just about drowned out everyone else. Literally we could not hear any voices at all and the piano was drowned out entirely. The keyboard and the gituar were putting up a fight to be heard but it was a loosing battle against the drums.

We were situated near the front so I couldn't see the reactions of the other people. But I did see both the daughter of the worship leader and the daughter of the minister sitting with their fingers in their ears. It was so loud that it was actually painful. I am all for exuberant worship, but this was not worship at all - it was just playing Christian songs as loud as possible. I may be wrong but I know that the last thing on my mind was worship. I just wanted to stuff something in my ears so I wouldn't be deaf before the service was over.

There are a few rare occasions where the kids will permit me to take their pictures - so I have to take advantage of it.

When we were in Newark for the NJHS induction the kids let me take pictures of them in the park outside the theater where the ceremony was held. Although they are not the best picstures in the world, they are pictures that I will treasure just because I have them.

These and many other of my current creations are for the cooking up a challenge cyber challenge. My other work (no I have not posted it all here) as well as the work of other talented artists can be seen here: http://www.cookinupcreations.com/coppermine/index.php