I am thinking about a new career - a church killer.
I am sure that there would be some demented people who would pay for services like that. I don't work quickly but I do work. My biggest problem is that although I have that job, I hate it. Here is my resume:
Church number one was an old church in Cleveland. With the flight of most families to the suburbs the decline began. I stayed there as it was the only church I ever knew til almost the bitter end. If it were just me, I would have stayed, but I had kids to think about so I moved on.
The next church I will call church one and a half. It was the church I attended while I was in college. I was still a member of church number one but I did attend just about every Sunday I was in college for 4 years. That church was fortunate as I wasn't there long enough to completely kill it. But it did have a very nasty split that may have finished the job since I have gone.
Church number two was the one I joined 10 years ago and closed just a year ago starting me on this odyssey. I believe that church will be my church home in my heart for the rest of my life. So much happened there that even though I only spent 9 years there they were the most intense and spiritually growing years in my life. To this day when someone says "church" that is the one of which I think.
There is a church 2 and a half too. I never "officially" attended there but my kids do participate in the Awana program there. I guess that is close enough for my kiss of death - or almost. About 6 years ago that church split as well. (I am not even going to start in with how many different Awana Commanders I have seen come and go.) The church is still going but it is no way the same church it was before the split.
For the past year we have been searching for a new church and for all the details you can read this blog. One thing that had helped us in this search is that we had was some stability was that although any given Sunday morning was a toss up we were able to attend a Saturday night service. This church was small and struggling. Because of that we know that it was not where we could stay. They were just missing some of the things we were looking for namely a place for our teens. It may not have been perfect but it was at least something like home. Until my ability strikes again.
They are closing the Saturday night service. I feel it so deeply that I am almost numb. I want a church home any family to but that is the problem - I have no where to go. I know that this is just another attack of my enemy but I don't' mind saying that it hurts and I am tired of it.
So I am off and looking again. I am tired of the search, but I am truly afraid that if I do find another church that I will have to keep doing this again and again. However the Lord is too important to really believe that I cause these problems. I know that there is somewhere he wants all of us and we will keep looking til we find it.
Deep Thoughts from a 6 Year Old
2 weeks ago